Experts: Community should offer support
With police announcing that the first of the
alleged clients will be charged this week, and with subsequent arrests
occurring over the next few months, it's clear that people in the
community could need help or be called upon to offer help.
The
Coast Star spoke to mental health professionals about the kind of help
those involved will need,
For partners whose spouse/significant other has been charged:
• Don't make relationship decisions right away.
"In
my world, to react to infidelity by taking a huge action quickly is not
a good idea," said Robert Weiss, a licensed social worker who is
director of intimacy and sexual disorder programs at Elements Behavioral
Health in California and The Ranch in Tennessee. "If they are already
on that route, fine, but if this is the issue that has triggered
discontent in an otherwise reasonable relationship, I would not make a
major move."
Weiss urged anyone dealing with
betrayal to wait six months before making any major decisions about the
future of any relationship.
• It's normal to be mad, and to feel hurt.
It
is important for a betrayed spouse to know it is normal to feel angry,
to doubt the stability of the relationship and to feel out of control,
Weiss said.
"Their whole world has been turned upside down," he said.
For children:
• Talk to them at an age-appropriate level.
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